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April 16, 2010
The Bahars: Tribute to my friends
On a recent trip to Arkansas, I stopped at the Culpepper Nursing Home to visit my faithful friends and former parishioners, the Bahars. We knocked on his door.
“Coming,” said Tony Bahar in a faint voice. Tony, past 90 is a WWII veteran who was at Iwo Jima, guarding the marines who held the flag in the famous picture. Opening the door, he was humble, gentle and cheerful as always.
After Holly and I exchanged hugs with him, I asked, “Where is Mary? Is she in the hospital?”
“You don’t know?” Tony raised his brows in surprise. “She passed away.”
I couldn’t bear to hear that she passed away and I had missed her funeral. The chair she always sat in was empty. Tears welled up my eyes.
We saw Mary last November. When we popped in on the couple, Tony was not there. She said he’d gone to the adoration chapel. She had sustained another fall and was confined to a chair, not the same Mary as we had known. We said visited and then went to see Tony. At the Adoration Chapel, I quietly knelt behind him. Tony thought that I was the one coming to take his place. We visited for 30 minutes outside. That was the first time that I ever saw Tony and Mary separately and wondered if it was a sign of things to come.
This time she was not there. This wonderful lady always made sure coffee was on when I visited. At a time when I didn’t have a car, the Bahars would pick me up and drive 30 miles one way to Sunday Mass and bring me back. She’d always give me a loaf of bread she had baked. Above all her kindness, what impressed me most was her constant assurance that she prayed for me every night without fail.
This couple has always held a profound respect for priests and for the church. Mary is gone but I know that I have an intercessor before the throne of Almighty, who will pray for me all the more.
Tony wanted to go to his WWII reunion in Des Moines, Iowa in the fall. He showed us the invitation, but he wasn’t sure how he could get there. We offered to drive him, God willing.
It was time for dinner at Culpepper and we accompanied Tony to the dining room before leaving him. Since Tony was not able to recall when Mary passed away, we checked with the nurses.
A nurse said Mary had passed away while she was on leave for four months recently. She said she was glad she was not there when it happened because Mary was one of her favorites. We went across the street to The Circle of Life, Hospice Care, where Tony said Mary was admitted for three days before her passage to eternity. The people there were kind enough to let us know that she passed on December 6th. So our November meeting was the last. Mary, remember us to the Lord who are still sojourning. We miss you. Of course you will be remembered during Mass as well as Tony.
Posted by bpleo at April 16, 2010 7:48 PM
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